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You want = You want
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure - go ahead = I don't want you too
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset you moron
You're so manly = you need a shave and you sweat alot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And i'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper,
etc.
I need wedding shoes = The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of
white
Hang the picture there = No, I mean hang it there
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good
game on TV
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
you have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late you're dead; Yes = No; No =
No; Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get
used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and rock him until
he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important!
All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that
we're stopping a the cosmetics department, the shoe department.
I needto look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets
would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
The answer to What's wrong?
The same ole thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing really = It's just that you're such an asshole
I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam
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